Despair, discouragement, hopelessness. How many times have each of us been there? How many times have wee felt this? That oppressive weight, that insurmountable mountain, that unexpected problem. For each of us, that point has been different. Maybe it was an unexpected expenses. Maybe it was a family crisis. Maybe it was a great loss. What ever it was, most of us can think of a point when we lost hope. When it seemed so dark, and the road so uncertain, that we did not think we could go on.
A few weeks ago was such a moment for me. Health issues are no stranger to me. Every few years there is another medical issue that arises. To say it gets old and is difficult would be an understatement. After months of not feeling well, and many doctor's appointments and test, I was left to wait - with no apparent answers. With a week and a half until my next appointment, I got a call and the nurse said, "We need you to come in for a few more tests, and that doctor is moving up your appointment."
As I relayed this update to others, the usual response was concern, questions, and unsettledness. Why was the appointment moved up? Did he see something? What is he thinking? With these and worse thoughts rolling around my head, I sat that afternoon and opened up my Bible app. The verse of the day was found in Psalm 27, so I started reading. As I got to the end of the chapter, I read these two verses, "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." (Psalms 27:13, 14 NASB).
Six days after reading this promise, I discovered I would be having my 3rd hip revision/replacement surgery (at the ripe old age of 39), and it might be the most difficult one yet. With sorrow, despair, and uncertainty surrounding me, I felt numb. God, how could this be happening? What in the world will we do? As Kimberly and I sat in silence - broken only by a little conversation and some tears, we were stunned, and it would have been so easy to despair. With the future looking very dark at that moment, God reminded me of His promise, "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord...".
In those moments and days following that news, God kept this verse before me. So many times I wanted to despair, but each time I remembered His faithfulness, His goodness, and His love. I began to see His touch all around, in dozens of ways. As dark as this valley seemed, He was walking right there with me and my family, all I needed was simply to trust Him, and wait on Him. I think Job (who sometimes I really feel like I can identify with) said it best, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him..." (Job 13:15)
Trusting God during the good times is easy. Trusting, and not despairing during the valleys can be hard. He never promised us a problem free ride, only that He would never leave us or forsake us. For it is during those dark times, that we often see and feel Him the most, and perhaps that is because during those times, we are simply seeking Him.
For each of us, a time like this will come, if it has not already. During those times, we must remember to wait on Him, and trust Him. What today are you facing? What problem seems to big? What mountain has you despairing? Wait on Him and trust Him, for He is right there with you.
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